durgga : today morning ah, nothing much. just normal and boring. i saw her but i didnt get happy like last time. i think im going to do sth to my hair, it sucks. i screwed big time at red cross. hmms, i just couldnt smile properly lah cos she wasnt behaving like the old her. how sad, i miss the old her. now, i think im starting to hate her. her difference in every thing she does just makes me sad. oh well my footdrill sucks. i think my body cant register commands properly. my saluting/marching sucks. i dont even think i should be in red cross lah. hur, but i dont want to quit lah, like duh. so stop asking that, mother. shes very supportive of her dream of me quitting rc. had crc idol and fun to see blur xiner laughing helplessly, hur how cruel but it was funny. and the gasp running away thing in debrief is so true. "omg, she coming lah coming." (: actually i couldnt even see the crc idol words lah cos not wearing specs. then every one was like omg when they saw it, and i didnt even understand what was happening. me and hasinah 'sang' so confused and now the song is scarred by my bad voice. i dedicate that song to someone, but not her. another she is too much, im sorry she may be my squaddie but i just find it so weird about her just so, cant describe lah. we all agree but too bad she doesnt know. so i was kind of pissed off with her. nvm, just survive. its okay if some people hate me or whatever, its their choice and i cant be bothered but just improve myself. my foot drill pracs at home SUCK, im not going to continue them. they have not paid off at all. i make such a shitty cadet. ah well, just improve i guess. getting more & more discouraged by each day. ah try be happy lah. shahilalalala (: i do not eye candy her anymore, she's different. atleast, to me it seems that way. i miss the old her so much and she cant even see that. i hope she does soon lah.
cause im in love with the inner being.