"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold."

AUTOMATIC
Hi my name is so and so, sometimes when i'm bored, i draw people in my head. I listen to music a lot but the best times are usually when i'm on the bus. I don't think many people know about me because I keep a low profile. On days when i'm upset, i paint my toe nails and red is my favourite color. I have white feet, they remind me of porcelain. My eyes resemble almonds and my lids look like define lines imprinted in clay. I wish I were somebody else, maybe superman perhaps, my red cape in the wind, ever so free. My blog is a collection of my perspectives, thoughts and emotions. I write when I write, what I write. Your critcism is not welcomed.
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time: 11:44 PM
date: Monday, April 23, 2007
I wont be here for awhile, and I am here to write shit. There I said it, if you dont like it, you can f-u-c-k (Ooooh, vulgarities!) off. There I said that too. Laughs.

I dont like being a lost cause, today was good, because I sat down and actually did something. Like a complete mindmap. Fur Elise is really good music, trust me. Anws, back t Topic #1, I am sorry I cannot be like her. I am sorry, I am not as responsible/efficient/fast/pro (I'm working on this, with a schedule and everything) or whatever enough as her. My fault that you cant stand me, I should've seen this coming. I mean, if I were you, I'd hate me too (Oh yes, duh). No wonder I've a low self esteem. Make this quicker, I am sorry I am not as perfect as her. I try, I am trying, I tried, but when you're running in an one way road, you just realise, you're in for a ride. A futile, fruitless ride. YOU KNOW WHATS REALLY FUCKED UP? Knowing you'll never ever give me a chance, because I am already "that inefficient useless good-for-nothing girl". Give it up for quotes, y'all. Blood.

You know, its becoming hard t be happy. No wonder I fucking cry easily. I hate being weak, but you know, all you all do is just pushing me t one corner and throw knives at me. Just because I am "cheerful" (Hahahah, fuck, its a quote) doesnt give you the right t push me around. I mean for God's sake, I smile at people (whom I know) regularly because I think it would make someone's day better. If you cant even appreciate that, then, I should become this MEGA bitch and go around giving you black faces right? Right. Blood.

Simply, I know my attitude, and I am doing something t change it. And I think I should just stop saying Hi to people and smiling, and just become this fucked up fuck who fucks up everyone's day by giving them glares/pouts/etc. But I wont, because I ain't gonna change myself, darling, just because you get in my way. Wait till I get the chainsaws and bulldozers, you wont have anything else t say.

(P.S, Happier post next time, Promise promise :D)


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